This morning on #12News we discussed some tips for guiding your children through the process of buying and selling a home. Moving can be stressful for adults (#adultingishard) but it can also be an emotional and stressful time for children.
Buying Tip #1 – Promise what you can control.
Often times parents want to entice their children to make the process sound more exciting. Promising bigger bedrooms or a play room or pool might not be promises you can keep. Instead, promise things you can 100% control – paint the room their favorite color, they can pick out something new for their room or they can have their friends over for a party once you move in.
Buying Tip #2 – Remember that home buying can have ups and downs emotionally.
Home buying is a combination of financial and emotional decision making, but for kids it’s just emotional. It will become tougher on the parents if the kids are feeling their frustration or concern or disappointment. Don’t add any extra anxiety to the process. Limit their exposure to what you feel they can handle. Maybe hand pick a few homes to show them when you’re closer to the finish line. Keep them informed, so they don’t feel left out or unsure, but don’t overshare the nitty gritty.
Sometimes you might look at houses for a weekend and sometimes you might look for months. While all families and children are different, you might want to wait to include them in looking part of the process once you are near the finish line. I’ve worked with families who take their kids to look at every house and after 4 weekends of looking, they are either in love or hate with every house and causing you additional pressure and stress to make a decision. They start to just want any house to get the looking phase over with.
Keep in mind that while you’re worried about finding the best investment and house to call a home, they have a different set of concerns about friends, where their toys will fit, possibly changing schools or their social status, etc., so make sure you’ve done your homework and you’re prepared with a plan before you cloud them with too much indecision or what ifs.
Buying Tip #3 – Consider their level of patience and manners.
If they are fully of energy and ready to run around the house and touch everything they see and you have to spend the bulk of your time monitoring them, instead of looking at the house, then you might want to invest in a babysitter while you look. Otherwise they can associate moving and home buying with scolding and time outs…not a positive experience.
Buying Tip # 4 – Ways to include them without taking them to see the houses yet?
Ask them to make a list of things that are important to them in a home. Show them your list and compare. Discuss that having a good wish list is important, but not every house will check every box, so you’ll be picking some items to compromise. Try to emphasize the experiences you want to have in the home, rather than the structural goals of the home.
Show them pictures on-line. Include homes you saw and why you liked them and why they didn’t work. You can start to teach them how you process the information to make a good decision based on more than just how pretty it is, or how big their room will be. This can be a great teaching opportunity especially for older children.
Drive them around neighborhoods you are considering and show them things of interest in the area – schools, parks, shopping, movie theaters or whatever interests them nearby and teach them that buying a house isn’t just about the house, but also the neighborhood.
Selling Tip #1 – Get them involved
If you’re selling your home, involve your child in preparing their room for showings. Have them starting packing away their valuables and ensure their favorite or precious items are stored so that visitors won’t touch or possibly break their things. Ensure their privacy is also protected and remove any items with their names or school information. This is important for pictures, as well as during showings of the home.
Selling Tip #2 – Give them a responsibility
Make selling your home a team effort. Every time you have a showing scheduled, make them responsible for turning on all the lights or opening all the window coverings or ensuring the music is playing softly. Make them a part of the solution and process of the successful home selling process.
Selling Tip #3 – Give them some control
Let them make some choices about what items they pack in advance or leave in their room. Giving them a little control will help them feel more stable during this process.
Most importantly, make sure you are communicating with your children. The more you allow them to talk about their feelings, the more you can reassure them and put any fears they have to rest.
If you need any added tips for handling children in the real estate process, call Holly at 480-266-8785.
